The first thing that I noticed when I got to the track at Texas A&M on Thursday afternoon was the focus of all the athletes that had gathered to work out. Despite the pouring rain - which was an evening staple for the weekend - everywhere I looked college athletes moved with a somber intensity I have not ever encountered at any high school meet. It was a stark contrast against the exuberance of the high school athletes I observed at the Adidas meet. Every one of these runners was clothed in matching, colorful ensembles of sweats, jackets, hoodies, and t-shirts bearing the name of a prestigious institution.
Melissa Ferry finished 2nd in the 2nd heat,
and 8th overall at the adidas Outdoor Championships,
nearly getting a PR with her 2:13.84.
In the homestretch on Friday the stands were nearly empty, and the stadium had a laid back feeling to it; runners moved to and fro, conducting business with a quiet air of respect for other competitors. I expected to find the experience overwhelming and nerve-wracking, but I found myself simply in awe of my surroundings. All of the big names in running had gathered at this meet, one that I was running in. It seemed surreal to be at a meet so esteemed, when last year at this time I had been merely hoping to qualify for outdoor states. On the plane ride down I had read an article in Glamour about Allyson Felix, and here I was competing in the same meet as she.
After having run a time very close to my PR at Adidas, I was excited going into Friday. I was pretty confident that things would be OK. Realistically, I knew that I would probably not advance but I had hoped to at least run another PR. Despite feeling a bit shell shocked by the idea of running at such a major meet, it seemed to be a great way to finish up my year.
Every time I try to write about this past weekend I encounter a problem. I have too much to say. I've attempted to organize my thoughts in a methodical manner, but it is difficult to sort through my four years of running that came to an end on Friday night. The easiest thing to write about is the race itself, and I can even sum it up in just three words—it was bad. I came off the track Friday night feeling that I had gone from being outclassed by my competition to being embarrassed by them. Humiliated was probably the best way to describe myself after the race, not necessarily physically tired or worn out, but emotionally beaten. It was incredibly hard to stomach closing out my high school career in such a fashion.
Through track I have gained self esteem and confidence, while at times running has destroyed the belief I had in myself with great ease, such as Friday. I'll openly acknowledge that a lot of times track consumes my life, which makes it even more difficult to accept defeat, but losing is something that is encountered at every stage of life. At some point late Friday night I came to the realization that I should simply be grateful that I even got the chance to compete at such a meet—win or lose. What I came to realize in the hours following my miserable performance, is that the race I ran was so much more than what I first viewed it as.
Friday night capped four years of sweat, pain, tears and frustration. It also closed the door on years containing state medals, school records and league titles. Although I can count more disappointments than I want to, my time in high school track was far more successful then I could have ever imagined. And not all the success I look back on has to do with the times I ran or with the meets I competed in. Track has helped me build a friendship with my younger brother, and has allowed me to meet so many people whom I wouldn't have gotten the chance to befriend otherwise. These past four years of running has made me more focused, driven and resolute. It has brought out a sense of determination, commitment and discipline that I did not even know I possessed. Lastly, running has slowly taught me that to be successful you must persevere through the injuries, setbacks, arguments, and those infamous bad races.
Melissa will compete and study at George Mason University in the coming year.